Reproducing

Another topic that takes up a lot of space in my brain and thinking time is getting pregnant, which if I was blogging true to my thoughts would be daily. The month before I got married my OBGYN and I had little talk. She knew that marriage was in my direct future and she asked me if we were talking about having children. I said yes, but it was still a year or so off before we were trying... she suggested that I discontinue birth control, since I had been on it since I was 15 for irregular cycles, to help. Once I stopped birth control she said it could be 3 months for it to get out of my system and another 3 months to become regular in my cycles, then I could use protection until we were ready to start trying and I would be able to time everything more precisely and it would be easier to get pregnant. So I listened to this advice, June 2008 I took my last birth control pill. Then I didn't have a period...months came and went... Since I had just graduated with my Masters my OB was a campus doctor, now that I was a grown up, married, and with a real job, I needed to find a new OB.
Finally in November of 2008 I felt like something was wrong, it had been nearly 6 months! I started calling local OBGYNs. (One doctor's wait list time for new patients couldn't get me in until MARCH!) I finally found one and she was able to take me in 3 weeks. At the end of November I had my first appointment. After a battery of tests, she quickly diagnosed me with PCOS, Polycycstic Ovarian Syndrome. This diagnosis was not a shock to me, my sister has also been diagnosed; and if this wasn't such a new diagnosis I believe that my mother and grandmother would have also been diagnosed. I was started on medication and finally started my next cycle. The doctor and I talked, she said that getting pregnant would be hard and possibly a long process. She couldn't guarantee that wouldn't be pregnant within a month of starting the medication, but she also couldn't guarantee that I would ever be pregnant. My original thought of waiting a year or so to get pregnant, turned into immediately trying. Another emotionally draining experience.
Fast forward to September 2009 and here I sit, I'm no further along than I was a year ago. I do see a specialist in Roanoke now and I have had two cycles on my own in the last year and 3 months. Which means I have technically only had two opportunities to get pregnant in the last year and 3 months. One of those cycles was this past one. Tomorrow morning, yes a Saturday, the doctor has called me in to run some tests at 7:30. I live over an hour from Roanoke... so my Saturday is starting early. From what I gather from his nurse, I will now be coming in to the doctor's office 3x a cycle, for shots, ultrasounds, tests, etc...
I am nervous, frustrated, heartbroken, and confused.
My whole life I was told, and believed, that if you work hard enough you can have anything, be anything, and do anything. Does this mean I'm not working hard enough at this?